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The Nightmare Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and so I’ve been toldThere was no dirt digging, not even by moles


The calendar now says, “It’s officially winter”That fact is substantiated, by the empty garden center


Like bears in the winter, who need hibernationMany gardeners too choose, horticultural procrastination


We know spring’s a-comin’, warm weather and all thatBut it’s hard now to envision, warm sunshine and straw hats


The need for sunscreen, and mosquito repellantsIs far away now, if the truth I be tellin’

Even though they’ve been saying, “It’s an El Nino year”It’s that one really cold night, which brings us to tears


Meteorologically speaking, the temps may be warmBut that doesn’t mean, plants will come to no harm


See plants aren’t concerned, with the temperature averagesThey just react to, frigid cold weather ravages


It takes but one night, in the sub-zero rangeTo inflict plant damage, and cause us great pain


But that night is not now, nothing foreseeable aheadJust keep it in mind, as you lie down in bed


No tossing and turning; don’t worry all nightThe things you’ve forgotten, will work out all right


Recollectional failure, doesn’t mean you don’t careYou simply ask, “What?” when you mean to ask “Where?”


So off to your slumber, with gardening dreams so sublimeYou’ll completely forget, it is now Christmas time


Your dreams will be massively, intricate gardensNow under construction, with deadlines forthcoming


There’s rain in the forecast, now some say delugesThat creates rivers of runoff, between Alberta spruces


It’s not May 2010, or Hurricane ChristineSimply sugar induced nightmares, and too much caffeine


The horrific events, from which you awakenIn reality are figments, of your imagination


You arise relieved, now restored to realityTo the fact there has been, no landscape fatality


Christmas morning looks bright, no mudslides and mayhemOnly poinsettias and presents; you know I’m just sayin’…


Our appreciation for you, we cannot overstateMerry Christmas to you, from us here at Bates!



David Bates

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